Muscles are Beautiful

I was never “girly” as a matter of fact, I didn’t learn how to apply make up until I was almost 30 (it still eludes me), I always prefer jeans and a T shirt over any other option and I would rather play with barbells than babies (I love kids but they’re on the “maybe” list for me). Even though I have been a Tom Boy my whole life, I still didn't know how to feel about my muscle packing on from weight lifting.

Guess what? I freaking LOVE it now! Some days I feel so bulky and heavy (not in a bad way) but if you look at me, you can’t even tell I lift because I’m still rocking this protective layer of fat. Well that isn’t entirely true, my legs look pretty wicked in Lulu. Oh and in a tank top, in front rack position, BOOM! On the bar, my fore arms are intense and when I flex my arms, you wouldn’t believe how big my triceps are. My lat’s are doing their best to make an appearance while my delts and traps are coming in nicely.

So what changed? My perspective. I spent the first half of my life hating my body for what it wasn’t and for what it couldn't do. I had to stop staring at my tummy fat, back fat (what is that evil shit doing there?) and cellulite and start focusing on my progress, my gains and my new body composition.

I found that taking action shot pictures really helped me to see what I can’t see standing in the mirror most days. I love taking a shower and flexing and saying hello to my muscles and post WOD, they shine like diamonds. Never in my life have I had, or thought I’d want pectoralis definition but wow it’s hot! I will openly admit, I love admiring myself in the front rack position because everything just perks up.

I have found that ignoring my fat is doing me a lot of good. You see, I used to see pictures of myself and think, Oh my God, how embarrassing look at my stomach! I can look at the same pictures today and say, wow look at my squat depth or sweet mother I got 80# on my OHS or better yet, I can thank my legs for being the tree trunks they are.

The other thing that has changed for me is seeing women differently. I used to covet thin women because I thought that was the ideal image. I used to see these rail thin women and think, “If only” but now they seem frail to me. Have you hugged a non-Crossfitter lately? Because when I hug my girlfriends that don’t lift, I feel like I can break them in half. One of the girls at my box is built like a brick wall, every time I hug her I’m in awe of her musculature.

I’m not saying it’s bad to be thin or bad to not lift, what I am saying is, LOVE YOURSELF. There are Women out there saying “I don’t want to get bulky”, well honey, you won’t. It takes hard work, determination, grit and willpower to get bulky and if you don’t have what it takes, you won’t look like “those Crossfit girls on TV”. Those women have devoted their lives to look that awesome and you don’t have to like it but you sure as hell should respect it.

So when you get to that point in lifting where you start to feel heavy, bulky or just plain huge, girl, embrace it! I have muscles I didn’t know could look this good! *waves to my shins* When I first saw the dimple in my shoulders I was over joyed! I have been busting my butt for a year and although I have a way to go to be where I want to be, I’m pretty tickled with how things are going. Most importantly, I really love my body, for what it can do and for what it does for me.