Breaking Up with Food

Breaking up with food is not an easy thing to do. Between society, friends and those you live with, you are constantly surrounded by a plethora of foods. When I quit smoking five years ago, I faced a similar conundrum but that was an addiction and it felt like I was giving up my best friend. Cigarettes were always there for me when I was happy, upset, stressed, etc. but I have never had issues with emotional eating.

I never understood how emotional our food decisions are until this last year. In the last seven months I have been on a quest to find out what is troubling me and slowing down my gains. My issues (life long) have run the gamete from chronic fatigue to symptoms that mimic IBS. My food allergies have gone off the charts and my sleeping has been inconsistent.

I have spent the last five years seeing different doctors and having blood, allergy and thyroid tests done all to be told that “nothing is wrong”. When I complained about my weight gain, even though my diet is clean and I work out consistently, my doctor told me to “eat less carbs”. When I went in with a list of symptoms my doctors ran blood tests until they could find an issue, which left me with a diagnosis of a vitamin D deficiency.

I have been fortunate that my box owner has taken an interest in my symptoms and checks in with me to keep giving me hope and direction. Recently she suggested The Paleo Approach, Reverse Autoimmune Disease and Heal Your Body by Sarah Ballantyne, PhD, aka The Paleo Mom. I purchased the book and found that I most likely have one if not several autoimmune diseases.

When reading over the symptoms for “leaky gut” or “increased intestinal permeability” I had almost all the symptoms listed and then some. I read through 400 pages of sited information and studies that told me I needed to cut my diet down to quality meats, vegetables and fruits with a 100% adherence. Also, coffee and all caffeine had to go.

My husband has told me for years I need to quit drinking coffee and I always respond with, “I quit smoking, you are not taking my coffee away”. I mean really, how many addictions do I have to give up? Apparently, all of them. Back in January when I was doing a Paleo challenge at our box I realized that even being strict Paleo wasn’t going to work and sought out an elimination diet per my box owner.

I found out that I did have a food addiction because as I ate nothing but broccoli, chicken and avocado for four days straight, I almost lost my mind over an apple. After that experience I kept my diet clean and only added in a new food every three days to watch for reactions and this went on for several months. I found I was so extremely limited that I couldn’t even eat vegetables aside from sweet potatoes without having a reaction.

With this new direction, I had to give up my protein shakes post WOD and my Aminos during my WOD and I can now say, those suckers really help with recovery. I am sorer than I have been in months and I had become used to bouncing back right after a hard WOD. I am feeding my body everything it needs to recover but I am not meeting my metabolic windows post and pre WOD and I can tell a difference. Also, no NSAIDs are allowed so I can’t even have Advil to relieve my symptoms.

So here I sit, two weeks into eating by The Paleo Approach and I’m suffering emotionally more than anything. Thankfully, I didn’t consume sugar or alcohol and I ate pretty close to what the diet suggested so I didn’t have a huge change compared to some but I also allowed my self to cheat when I wanted to. I also ate an immense amount of Quest Bars and the occasional protein cookie or fast food burger.

Emotionally I am confronted every where I go. When I walk into a grocery store and thousand’s of choices surround me but I can only have thirty things (beauty products included). I shouldn’t go out to eat because even with my best intentions I can’t avoid everything (seasonings are the biggest culprit). I have a craving for something and I simply am not allowed to have it because she suggests 100% adherence for at least a month and possibly, the rest of my life.

It’s lonely. It’s frustrating. It’s something I have to work through. To live a life of such strict adherence is not for the weak at heart. I now track every meal, every reaction, every bathroom break to make sure I can clearly find what my body will not tolerate. I am trying to reduce my stress levels, adjust my sleeping time, take the advised supplements, refrain from everything she suggests and all of this is to repair my “leaky gut”.

How long will it take? She says some people feel better immediately, some feel better after six months, some longer. How strict do I have to be? She suggests 100% but lets be real, that isn’t going to fly for many people. I can take a step back and say, yeah, I have a known allergy to milk and I shouldn’t have ice cream but the likelihood of me never having it again? That is laughable.

Her approach is all about healing the body, restoring your sleep, reducing stress and getting you to feel better, all of which I want. I am two weeks in and I can’t say I feel any better as I have had some reactions and have found more to eliminate but I can commit to this for at least a month to see if I feel any different. I am hopeful that breaking up with food this way is the answer to heal me as I have spent a life-time suffering from what my doctors tell me “is nothing”.